


Sleep on the floor

by mirkwood131



Series: EXO Central [4]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Humor, Love, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 15:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13193070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkwood131/pseuds/mirkwood131
Summary: Kyungsoo, in his small and organized life, doesn’t have room once again for his exuberant and adventurous ex-boyfriend, Chanyeol, who drags him on a totally unplanned road trip into the nowhere.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, first of all, this fic is inspired by The Lumineers' music video, [ Sleep on the floor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pi1LxuDHc&t=1s).  
> 

_The light flickers, casting heavy shadows on Kyungsoo’s face, making his dark circles and eye bags even more pronounced. There’s the sound of a thunder into the distance and he flinches, looking around, at the people gathered in his living room. Over the couch and armchairs, and even on the table and big screen TV, which he has always deemed unnecessary, black sheets are thrown. Even the windows have dark curtains that make the space even grimmer and gloomier._

_His fingers are toying with a used tissue paper, wet in some areas and crumpled. It falls from his hand, right at his feet and he looks at it without even picking it up. He laughs, thinking that only a couple of weeks ago the room was filled with people, loudly laughing and getting drunk, all swarming around the man that is now thrown in a casket, underneath the ground, lonely with the dead in a cemetery._

_Someone passes by him and gently touches his shoulder, whispering in his ear some words that hold no meaning to him. He only remembers that he used to play hide and seek in here, with his best friend, until he broke something-he doesn’t know what anymore-and he hasn’t been allowed to step inside, only at big events. Now, he sadly smiles, it is all his and he has no wish to stay inside of it anymore._

_He almost doesn’t understand what he is doing among that mass of people that he almost cannot recognize. One here, another there, distant relatives that he suppose he has seen sometimes, vaguely; it only makes him feel more detached from everything. And then, when he looks down, at his shoes, he notices the dust and mud stuck to them in random splotches. Everything suddenly dooms back on him._

_Someone is walking up to where he is, taller than everybody else, and stops right in front of him; he picks up the tissue from the floor and coughs._

 

1.

“Kyungsoo. Just pick five freaking t-shirts!! It’s not philosophy. Pick five, throw them in the basket and keep moving.” Chanyeol says, taking five garments from the shelves and putting them in the shopping cart that lays next to him.

“These are not even my size!” Kyungsoo says, looking down at the strange assortment of red, green and yellow, just like a melted Christmas tree in a small supermarket in the middle of Falher.

“Then hurry up. We don’t have the entire day.” Chanyeol smiles and Kyungsoo finally sighs, pushing the cart with his foot. It hits a shelf in its drunken way, making some pairs of jeans and white snickers fall down with a thud.

The shop assistant throws them an annoyed look from the register, but doesn’t come to solve the clothing mess.

Kyungsoo looks around, relieved that the only other 2 customers in the shop still debate on some canned food as Chanyeol casually throws everything that has fallen down into the cart.

“We only need shampoo. And boxers? And maybe some food?” Chanyeol says, pushing the bin as Kyungsoo is still checking the clothing section, shaking his head from time to time.

“Shouldn’t you actually check the size?” Kyungsoo asks, frowning.

“Too mundane.”

So Kyungsoo practically grabs the first thing that he sees on a shelf and throws it right on top of their melted Christmas tree at the end of May.

“Did you actually get a pack of Magnum condoms, extra pleasure?” Chanyeol raises an eyebrow.

Kyungsoo keeps his expression unchanged, even though his fingers grab with a little too much force the pack to put it back where it belongs.

“Leave them!” Chanyeol says, rashly taking it from Kyungsoo and throwing it back in.

“Why?” Kyungsoo asks.

“You never know.” he laughs, walking ahead to the food aisle without another word.

They finally fill the entire cart to the brim and the cashier only offers them a quick roll of eyes and almost whispered “Have a nice day”.

Kyungsoo would say that he is feeling calmer when they eventually get back into their old black Ford; it still has a few scratch marks from the dark times when Chanyeol was 16, license fresh in his hands, taking Kyungsoo for a stroll. One that literally ended up in a bunch of spiny bushes on the side of the road; a scared and angry Kyungsoo, usually quiet, who couldn’t stop cursing and shouting this time. Only Chanyeol was slightly perplexed, unable to understand how increasing the speed from 60 km/h to 70 km/h would lead to something like this. A year later, they were facing a similar situation, with Kyungsoo at the wheel and Chanyeol laughing.

But right now Kyungsoo would admit that Chanyeol is a better driver, or at least better than him, since he doesn’t even want to touch the wheel, only when he is obliged to, but even then he does it with resentment and childish fear that he would end up in the same bushes.

Chanyeol starts the engine and fixes the mirror, but curses “Crap” in annoyance, like he has always used to do.

Even when his condom broke in his first girlfriend the only thing he said was “Crap” and pulled out without a single other word. That’s the way Chanyeol has always been, not caring too much about important things, but excessively caring about stupid ones. Or at least, that’s what Kyungsoo has always seen the things.

Kyungsoo looks back, at the colorful mess of things thrown in the backseat, too bright that they seem like they are only there to mock him.

“Where are we going?” he asks, lightning a cigarette.

The window doesn’t open too well, so there’s only a small space through which he can slide his fingers.

“You should fix this.”

“It’s still working.” Chanyeol looks at him and coughs. “I thought you gave it up.”

“And I thought you forgot about me.”

Chanyeol hums in response and Kyungsoo keeps on smoking his cigarette, even though most of the smoke gets back into the car, and not outside. But none of them seem to care, maybe only Chanyeol who keeps on coughing, but doesn’t say another word.

They are out of Falher and the road sign says they have 7 more kilometers until they reach Donnelly.

He dragged Chanyeol to Donnelly on his 15th birthday to buy his first pack of cigarettes. Chanyeol even tried one but concluded he was better off drinking cheap beer. It was only making him feel dizzy.

Kyungsoo didn’t like it from the first or second or third smoke, but he felt the need to finish the whole pack. In the end, he became addicted and Chanyeol stopped telling him that he’ll kill himself.

“Where are we going?” Kyungsoo asks once again, throwing the stub out of the car.

He thinks that he should have bought some mints.

Chanyeol shrugs the question off, increasing the speed. The car makes a strange noise, as if something hit it, but the former doesn’t look too concerned, or not at all. Kyungsoo isn’t sure if it is because it is important or actually not. He can never tell when it comes to Chanyeol.

He looks down at his shoes, still covered in dried mud and dust and sighs. At least the silence feels comfortable between them two. Except for the buzzing noise coming from the engine, Kyungsoo feels strangely at peace.

He hasn’t seen Chanyeol in years, when the latter has decided that he wanted to pursue his dreams of becoming a renowned singer. The only things he has found out about him, in the years that kept passing, were from Chanyeol’s mother, who still called him for Christmas and Easter. Except for some random gigs at different bars and small concerts with an even smaller crowd, Chanyeol only managed to wash dishes in different restaurants.

But Chanyeol hasn’t told him about any of this, so Kyungsoo just keeps quiet. After all, he has never been invested in other’s business.

“I think we could reach Slave Lake by nightfall.” Chanyeol says, turning on the radio.

“Huh?” Kyungsoo hears the familiar beat of a song that played years ago on the radio, when they were both attempting to run away from home. He considered that only a strange phase induced by Chanyeol’s adventurous side.

Back then, he was a hormonal, covered in acne and in anxiety teenager, who used to only listen to rock or grunge music on blast. Chanyeol didn’t particularly like any of those, but he has never complained about them to Kyungsoo. He only said “Crap” from time to time, when the song or haircut was bad enough.

“The Inn there is…decent?” he laughs, wide and toothy, making Kyungsoo smile.

“Watch the road.” Kyungsoo points, as Chanyeol is dangerously close to another car.

Driving has never been their forte.

“I know what we forgot to buy!” Kyungsoo snaps, slapping his thigh. “Toothbrushes.”

“That’s what fingers are for.” Chanyeol laughs, his eyes drifting from the road to Kyungsoo, and the car once again goes dangerously close to another one.

“From my math…if we don’t spend too much, the money should last us for 3 months.” Chanyeol says, regaining control over the vehicle.

Chanyeol has never been good at math, so Kyungsoo doubts that they actually have that much cash. He has also not been very good at keeping money in his bank account for longer periods of time.

“We could always sleep in the car. I’ve brought some blankets. Those old, blue ones.” Chanyeol says.

Kyungsoo doesn’t actually remember them, or anything much related to Chanyeol’s belongings, since he has always considered them too colorful. At least when he was going through his emo-goth, hormonal teenager phase. Then there came the serious and studious one, 2 years later and just one after, the self-doubt and sexuality discovery one. In the meantime, Chanyeol seemed to remain the same person, only growing taller and lankier, dressed in his now black shirts, with a guitar case on his shoulder. He has always had to listen to his compositions. The later ones were particularly good, but then Chanyeol left and Kyungsoo has no idea whether or not he writes anymore.

“I have some money too.” Kyungsoo says, feeling his wallet heavy in his pocket. “We should have changed our clothes.” he looks down at his crisp white shirt and black trousers and the black blazer. Chanyeol’s are almost the same, only crinkled. Somehow, it suits him.

The car stops on the side of the road and Kyungsoo thinks for a second that it has finally broken down.

“Let’s change. At least we’ll check if the clothes fit us.” Chanyeol says, throwing the blazer in the back.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Just-we’ll do that in Slave Lake.” Kyungsoo says with a frown.

He has forgotten how stubborn Chanyeol really is.

“186 kilometers?”

“What?”

“That much until Slave-”

“That I get but-change if you want, I won’t.” Kyungsoo says.

He has always hated changing, being naked in front of other people, being them Chanyeol or a short term lover, there just to fill some void in his chest, until he would have realized how miserable it was making him feel in reality. But he always hated exposing himself, his nakedness to others. Not necessarily because he isn’t like a magazine model, or that his belly is too round and soft to the touch, or that he has never attempted to shave his chest hairs; he simply hates everything that it comes with it. Especially when he hasn’t seen Chanyeol in so long.

“Fine. But my balls hurt. These pants are surely 2 sizes too small.” Chanyeol says, scratching them to prove his point.

Kyungsoo looks out of the window and lights another cigarette. This time, the window doesn’t want to roll down, not even a centimeter, so he just opens the door instead. He hears the ruffle of clothes on his left, and he’s almost tempted to look, but he doesn’t.

The last time he has seen Chanyeol naked was right before he left to pursue his dream and then Kyungsoo came to the conclusion that Chanyeol didn’t care enough about him. Now he doesn’t know why he really left that way, but he isn’t as angry as he used to be. If he is, it is from other reasons.

“You are such a prude.” Chanyeol smiles, smacking him with his pair of pants. “And the t-shirt fits just fine.” he says and Kyungsoo turns around to see him dressed in a bright red one that says “I LOVE FALHER, ALBERTA!”

“It looks stupid on you.” Kyungsoo says, trying to hide a giggle.

“Wait until you wear them too.” Chanyeol says, hitting the steering wheel, and the car honks. “Sorry.”

Kyungsoo considers that it almost feels like old times, with nothing much changed between them. The silence feels just as comfortable and Chanyeol has always done most of the talking anyways. It almost doesn’t even seem that they’ve been apart for so many years.s

Chanyeol starts the car and pushes the gas pedal down, and the buzzing coming from the vehicle is audible once again. This time it is even louder.

“What if the car breaks?” Kyungsoo asks.

“We’ll rent one, I suppose. Or we could hitch hike?” Chanyeol says, and the engine does a roaring sound, followed by an extremely loud fart noise, and it stops, right in the middle of the road.

They have barely passed Donnelly, and the car seems dead.

“Crap!” Chanyeol says, and Kyungsoo knows it’s bad. It’s bad, because smoke is coming from underneath the hood.

Chanyeol rapidly opens the door and then the hood and everything is set on fire. 

“What the heck should we do? What do we do?” Kyungsoo asks, rushing towards the other.

As mediocre drivers as they are, they have even fainter ideas about mechanics or causes of their car suddenly catching fire.

“Tell me you have the number of a towing company?” Kyungsoo asks.

Chanyeol shakes his head and Kyungsoo kicks an envelope with his foot.

“There’s no signal.”

“And now what?” Kyungsoo asks, sitting down on the road.

“We’ll walk to the next city, rent a car and-”

“Are you an idiot?”

“Of course I’m n-”

“How the fuck will walk 12 fucking kilometers then?” Kyungsoo asks, standing up to pace around.

He has always hated Chanyeol’s indifference towards everything. As if nothing was too important to him, not even Kyungsoo.

“Then hitch hike?”

“Did you shave?” Kyungsoo asks, looking straight at Chanyeol’s long and too thin legs, barely covered by a pair of tropical design pants; they both burst out in laughter.

When they ran away at 16, somehow things were going smoother for both of them. Until the police found where they were and returned them home to their parents. At least they didn’t have a car to take care of.

“But what do we do?” Chanyeol asks, crouching down.

“Hitch hike?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.

“I’ll prepare my leg then.” Chanyeol says, still lowly laughing, while he cleans the tears around his eyes.

“Shouldn’t we first stop the fire?” Kyungsoo asks, but does nothing in that regard. He has never seen himself as the manly type of man, who can stop a fire with his bare hands. Now, when he looks at Chanyeol slapping a wet towel on the engine, with the “I LOVE FALHER, ALBERTA!” t-shirt all covered up in ashes, he realizes that he isn’t either.

A car is approaching them, a red and what seems like a Mustang, and Kyungsoo starts waving his arms around as Chanyeol keeps trying to quench the flames. The towel eventually sets on fire and the car keeps going, without even stopping.

“It looked creepy, anyways.” Kyungsoo says, glancing at Chanyeol who takes another towel from the trunk.

Another one is in their proximity, and this time, Chanyeol is the one to do the job of making it stop. He simply waves his hand and points toward the hood.

It actually stops and Kyungsoo sighs, somehow frustrated that Chanyeol is the one to take them out of shit and not him. But after all, walking 12 kilometers doesn’t sound appealing to him, so he simply keeps his mouth shut as a man gets out of the car, followed by a woman; they both seem to be in their fifties and more knowledgeable about engines and mechanics.

“Can you give us a lift to the next town?” Chanyeol asks them once the fire has died down.

“And you’ll leave the car here?” the man asks, analyzing it with an expression that Kyungsoo isn’t particularly fond of.

“That’s the plan.” Chanyeol smiles.

Kyungsoo wonders how fake the smile must be, since the other loved the car with all his heart. It sometimes even felt like it was the only thing he cared about. Or maybe he’s simply that indifferent about everything, he thinks. Kyungsoo quickly realizes that he only assumes he knows Chanyeol, the 21 years old Chanyeol and not the 27 years old one, right in front of him. This one has dark circles around his eyes and bad taste in clothes. But this one laughs just as much and does stupid things like running away for the second time with Kyungsoo. It almost seems like the same person.

Chanyeol starts taking everything out of the car, one by one, t-shirts and pants gathered in a pile at his chest and Kyungsoo tries to help him move everything to the other vehicle.

He only manages to annoy Chanyeol even more and make the operation even slower, since he has no idea how the other has previously arranged everything inside.

But, they are finally seated in the couple’s vehicle, rapidly leaving the car behind them on the road.

“Won’t you miss it?” Kyungsoo asks.

They are both sitting in the back, and everything smells like bug repellent; it almost makes his skin crawl in disgust.

“It’s just a car, Soo…” Chanyeol says, and Kyungsoo is surprised to hear the nickname so effortlessly being said by him.

Now, he wonders if he cares more about it than Chanyeol has ever cared. The old Ford feels more like a memory than anything else, the place where funnily enough, the most important things in their lives have happened. It’s almost as if they are both letting go of the past. One with indifference and the other with much more.

And if there is one thing, is that Kyungsoo is scared of letting go.

“Where do you want us to stop?” the man asks, looking in the rearview mirror at them.

“Near a car rental place?” Chanyeol asks.

“Sure thing.”

It takes only 10 more minutes through the small town until the car stops in front of a place that somehow resembles a rental shop. There are a couple of nicer cars in the front, but Kyungsoo only wonders about how they will be able to get that much money for one that wasn’t in the plan.

“Thanks a lot.” Chanyeol says, handing to the couple some bills.

“Sure thing, lad. Take care of your new car.” the man laughs and gives Kyungsoo a quick look before he gets back inside the vehicle and leaves.

“And now?” Kyungsoo asks with the hands on his hips.

“We rent a car.” Chanyeol laughs, patting Kyungsoo’s back. “Come on, they must have something cheap over here.” he says and walks inside.

The dusty blue firm above the door that says “McLennan Car Rentals” in bright red letters, is dangerously dangling in its nails as the door is shut close after him. Kyungsoo eventually gets inside, where Chanyeol is already chatting with the sales assistant.

He remembers that Chanyeol used to be rather shy before he left, not the type to happily talk with someone he didn’t know beforehand. In that aspect, Kyungsoo always thought they were alike, even though for him it was never shyness, but more so a loathing in what concerned these type of fake conversations. Even though he hasn’t changed in that aspect, it seems like Chanyeol has lost his teenage shyness.

“We have a very nice Ford Capri in the back. A 1983 model, good condition, bright orange color, a beauty to drive. It’s only 1500 for you, lad.” the man smiles a grin that misses a couple of teeth and the others are mostly golden or grey.

Chanyeol looks back at Kyungsoo, and he only shrugs off; he has never been good with cars and Chanyeol either, but now he wonders if things have actually changed with him. It scares him to think that Chanyeol is not the same person that was giving him his mixtapes at 1am in the morning; they always ended up listening to them on Kyungsoo’s front porch, all in the dark, with their parents fast asleep upstairs.

“Alright. Show it to us.” Chanyeol smiles, following the man in the back. Kyungsoo does the same, keeping a safe distance between himself and the other two.

They walk into a rather big yard, surrounded by a tall, metal fence with spikes on it and there, a bright orange car immediately catches Kyungsoo’s eye.

“This is the Capri.” the man says, patting its hood as if it was an animal to pet. “Beautiful, right?”

Chanyeol quickly looks at it and then at Kyungsoo, and he only nods. So, in fact Chanyeol is just as hopeless when it comes to cars.

“We’ll take it.” Chanyeol says, shaking the other’s big hand.

“Good choice, lad. Just some papers to sign and it is all yours.“ he grins, throwing Kyungsoo a look that makes him feel unsettled.

In fifteen minutes, they are both inside the Ford, the papers already signed and the money resting in the seller’s pockets.

The car is a manual, and Chanyeol looks for a couple of minutes at the pedals and at the shifter, without saying one word. All their belongings are crammed in the trunk and Kyungsoo is still wearing his black suit.

"Can you drive it?” Kyungsoo asks, knowing for a thing that at 16, Chanyeol only knew how to drive an automatic one.

“I haven’t thought about this…” Chanyeol says, letting his head fall right on the steering wheel. It honks. “Sorry.”

“How can you not think about this?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Well, I haven’t. Happy? What do you want me to say?” Chanyeol asks, looking at Kyungsoo with a defeated look on his face. This is the same look he has always given Kyungsoo, or probably the only one he actually remembers, or at least, the last one he has given him before he left, leaving him alone in the apartment with a broken vase and a bleeding finger.

Kyugsoo didn’t like throwing things to calm down his nerves, but that time he felt like doing so. Now, he thinks it was stupid and childish and too sentimental, the way he acted when Chanyeol left.

“Why are you quiet?” Chanyeol asks and the look is gone.

“I can drive it.” Kyungsoo says.

He learnt how to drive on a manual, at his father’s insistence. That it would make him a real man. He thinks it was also from the fear that his son might actually turn to be gay, so he was trying to stop it at every action. It seems like he didn’t manage to succeed.

“You hate driving.”

“I’ll go slowly.” Kyungsoo says, swallowing thickly.

“Okay…well.” Chanyeol says, stepping out of the car.

Kyungsoo does too, and stares at Chanyeol.

“I should smoke one first. I don’t think I’ll be able to-you know…” he says.

He sits on the sidewalk and lights a cigarette and notices- he always sees it better this way- that his fingers are shaking. Inhaling, deeply into his lungs, it makes him feel better. Not like in the beginning, but it’s still good. Still calming.

“I think we should stop in High Prairie…” Chanyeol says, pacing around.

Kyungsoo nods and thinks that Chanyeol is still too thin.

“What?” he asks.

Kyungsoo smiles, looking at Chanyeol. It oddly feels the same. The only complication they ever had was Chanyeol leaving, and then Kyungsoo only focused on his job and career and what his father wanted him to do. At least, the elder was happy that the seemingly bad influence in his life was finally gone.

“It’s nice, right?” Chanyeol asks, looking back at the car.

Chanyeol’s mother showed him one Christmas a picture of him, taken somewhere in a small city in the USA, with bright orange hair. He laughs, because it’s the same shade as the car.

“Why are you laughing?” he smiles. “Kyungsoo…”

“Nothing. The car is pretty.” Kyungsoo says.

The cigarette didn’t calm him almost at all; he only looks with dread at it, thinking about the moment the engine would stop and he’d have to start it again and again and again. And then those bushes.

Kyungsoo shakes his head.

He throws the stub on the ground and walks over it with his shoe.

“You’ll do fine.” Chanyeol says, rubbing a spot between his shoulders.

Kyungsoo gets inside the car and puts the key into contact. Chanyeol is standing right next to him, smiling brightly and calmly. Maybe he doesn’t actually care about anything.

The engine starts and Kyungsoo puts into first gear while his left foot is on the clutch. He presses the gas pedal and too quickly releases the clutch. The engine stops.

“Hey…you can do it.” Chanyeol smiles at him and Kyungsoo puts the key back. He repeats the actions over and over again, but the engine stops and stops.

“Fuck!” Kyungsoo says, hitting the wheel. It honks once again. “I can’t freaking do it, okay? I-I can’t. I haven’t driven in years.” he says, thinking that the last time he actually drove was with Chanyeol, when the later was drunk and without any money on him. He had to pick him up, without actually wanting to, especially since things were already going rotten between them. He didn’t yet know about Chanyeol’s plans.

“If you need to smoke anoth-”

“I don’t need to freaking smoke anything. I can’t fucking drive.” Kyungsoo says, looking up at Chanyeol.

“You just need to calm down.”

“And I can’t calm down. Happy?” Kyungsoo asks and storms out of the car, shutting it close with all his force.

Chanyeol doesn’t follow him outside, only patiently waits inside, browsing his phone.

Kyungsoo kicks a stone, feeling once again like he’s the only one who cares, that because he actually dares to give a damn, everything is turning out so badly. Because he still doesn’t really get it why Chanyeol left so briskly, the suitcase already in front of the door, next to the backpack he gifted him 2 Christmases ago. He has always done everything when he wanted and as he wanted. Running away from home, pursuing his dream and now this.

Maybe, Kyungsoo thinks, he is still angry that Chanyeol is as he is.

He walks back to the car and puts the key back into contact. This time, it starts, with a strange noise, but it does move, straight on the road, and Kyungsoo is afraid to actually stop it and do everything all over again.

Chanyeol looks at him and smiles, pushing a bag filled with pretzel underneath Kyungsoo’s nose.

“Eat.”

“I’ll get the car in a tree.” he says, still driving in the third gear. He moves the shifter to the fourth and the car makes once again a displeased noise.

“I’ll feed you, then.” Chanyeol says, putting between Kyungsoo’s lips a pretzel. It falls onto his pants.

“Sorry.”

“Here.” Chanyeol hands him another one and this time, Kyungsoo eats it.

“I’m so hungry…” Kyungsoo laughs.

A car overtakes them and Kyungsoo thinks he is going too slowly.

“It’s fine.” Chanyeol says and gives him another pretzel.

Kyungsoo bites a little too fast, so alongside the pretzel there are also Chanyeol’s fingers in his mouth.

They both laugh and the car goes a little to the left. Chanyeol turns on the radio and quietly taps his fingers on his tropical design pants as he also feeds Kyungsoo from time to time. It gets comfortable soon enough, but after a couple of hours, Kyungsoo feels the need to smoke, but doesn’t dare to stop the car or light a cigarette as it is.

“You need a smoke?” Chanyeol asks with a smile. They have finished the entire bag of pretzels and it seems like they are still in sync. Chanyeol knowing what Kyungsoo needs and vice versa.

Kyungsoo nods, keeping his fingers tight around the wheel. He still isn’t certain how he managed to start the car.

“The pack is in my front pocket and the lighter next to it.” Kyungsoo says, keeping his eyes straight on the road.

Chanyeol fumbles a little bit until he grabs both of them and lights the cigarette at the fifth try. He gently places it between Kyungsoo’s lips and rolls the window down.

“Can you-"Kyungsoo mumbles and Chanyeol takes it from between his lips.

He blows the smoke outside the window and Chanyeol puts it back into his mouth.

"I-I think I can smoke without your help.” Kyungsoo laughs and takes with trembling fingers the cigarette. The car moves just a bit to the right.

“At least the town is close.” Chanyeol says. “Only…20 kilometers.” he says, looking at his phone.

“I like this song.” Kyungsoo says, blowing some smoke outside. A part of it remains inside the car and Chanyeol starts coughing. “Wasn’t this the one they sang at the graduation…thing?” he asks, realizing it was the only thing he remembers from that night, except for the back of Chanyeol’s car and the same song singing on the radio.

“Do you even remember that?” Chanyeol laughs, looking at Kyungsoo. “We were both so drunk…you’ve barely made it to the car.”

Kyungsoo smiles, blowing some smoke into Chanyeol’s direction, making him cough once again.

“And you were no better.”

“But you must admit that it was the best f-”

“Shut up!” Kyungsoo says, throwing the unfinished cigarette outside. He is smiling.

The last 20 kilometers are done in silence, Kyungsoo not going over the 60 km/h mark and Chanyeol laughing from time to time.

Eventually, they enter the town and Chanyeol immediately start looking for a place to sleep in.

“Key Inn Motel. Is not that expensive…” Chanyeol says, staring at his phone. “There’s something more expensive, but I mean…”

“Key Inn is, then. Tell me where it is.” Kyungsoo says, feeling his palms sweat at the thought that he might have to stop at semaphores and even park the car.

“It’s right on the main road.” Chanyeol says. “There.” he points out at a yellow sign with red letters saying “Key Inn”. “I think we’ve found it.” Chanyeol smiles and Kyungsoo sighs in relief as he stops the car right in front of the cream colored building.

“I’m not moving it from here.” Kyungsoo says.

“Let’s get a room.” Chanyeol pats Kyungsoo’s back.

The sky is a pale shade of pink and purple, mixing with the blue and yellow of the clouds covering it. Chanyeol yawns, stretching his body as Kyungsoo is the first one to enter the place.

“It’s not that bad, right?” he asks, looking around.

“It works.” Kyungsoo mumbles and glances at Chanyeol. It makes him laugh that he’s still wearing the “I LOVE FALHER, ALBERTA” t-shirt.

“What?” Chanyeol asks, laughing. “I’ll go book a room.” he says, going for the front desk where a woman is not paying any attention to them.

In 10 minutes, they are carrying a small part of their luggage to their room at the 2nd floor.

“It could have looked like a cave and I wouldn’t have cared.” Kyungsoo says, throwing himself on the bed.

Chanyeol looks at him with a smile and puts down the two bags he is carrying.

“You won’t shower?”

“I’m not that stinky…” Kyungsoo smiles, patting the spot next to him.

Chanyeol sits down, besides Kyungsoo and they both look at one another.

“I missed this…” Chanyeol says, brushing his fingers through the other’s hair. Kyungsoo turns on his side and his smile falters from his lips. The last time they’ve stayed like this, Kyungsoo felt angry and abandoned by the other. In the morning, the bed was empty and the vase still broken in the hallway.

“I should change my clothes…” Kyungsoo says, but doesn’t move. Chanyeol keeps lightly running his fingers through his hair, calming him down. He closes his eyes and hums in approval when Chanyeol brings him closer to his chest. It’s warm and comfortable on the bed, where he doesn’t have to think about anything: his inability to drive, them running away for the second time, seeing Chanyeol after so many years and acting as if nothing had changed between them.

“Kyungsoo…you can’t sleep in the suit.” Chanyeol says, trying to stir him awake.

“Of course I can…” Kyungsoo mumbles, as drool is tricking down his chin, right onto his white shirt.

Chanyeol quietly laughs and shifts both of them on the pillows, covering their bodies with the blanket thrown over the bed. He doesn’t fall asleep immediately, only looks from time to time at Kyungsoo and runs the fingers through his hair. But Kyungsoo has already fallen asleep, cradled at Chanyeol’s chest.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

When Kyungsoo wakes up in the morning, the left side of the bed is empty and cold. For some fleeting seconds, his heart is beating too fast, thinking that Chanyeol left him once again.

He stands up and rushes to the bathroom, feeling his bladder explode even though he drank almost nothing the day before. When he opens the door, something stops it in its way and Kyungsoo pushes even harder.

“What the fuck!” he says.

“I’m taking a crap!” Chanyeol yells, shutting the door into Kyungsoo’s face. “Wait.”

“You should have said.” Kyungsoo says, feeling relieved.

He finds it rather amusing that Chanyeol is the one to not let Kyungsoo see him halfway naked, even though, he smiles, it wouldn’t have been the first time. Chanyeol has never been the prudish type, not even in high school when he used to be shier. Kyungsoo has always been the one to hide behind thick layers of clothes and turned off lights.

“You can come in.” Chanyeol says, flushing the toilet.

Kyungsoo waves the hand around his face and rapidly opens the window for the bathroom. In many ways, Chanyeol has remained the same and it almost makes Kyungsoo feel calmer at the thought.

“Don’t tell me it stinks.” Chanyeol laughs, as he rubs his teeth with a finger covered in toothpaste.

“I won’t.” Kyungsoo says, doing the same as the other.

He looks at their reflections in the mirror, Chanyeol’s taller, lankier one and Kyungsoo’s smaller one, his head only reaching his shoulders. It makes him smile, now that Chanyeol is still wearing the red t-shirt and Kyungsoo is still in his crumpled white shirt and black trousers. It feels normal.

“We could buy coffee at a shop and maybe something to eat.” Chanyeol says.

“Coffee sounds good.” Kyungsoo spits into the sink. He still hates he didn’t buy toothbrushes.

“I’ll get you the t-shirt. And pants.” Chanyeol laughs, rushing out of the bathroom. Kyungsoo laughs too.

He comes back just as quickly, with a blue one and green shorts with bright pink flowers all over them.

“I’ll look like a Christmas tree.” Kyungsoo says, but takes the clothes and shuts the door close into Chanyeol’s face.

They don’t look as bad as he has imagined, they only seem to make him appear like he is on vacation. And somehow, he truly is.

When he opens the door, Chanyeol is sitting on the bed, browsing through his phone. He coughs and the other looks up, a grin extending on his face.

“It’s a look.” Chanyeol laughs.

They both know that Kyungsoo despises the colorful rainbow puked all over him, one that reminds him too much of Chanyeol, before he started wearing only black and focused only on his music.

“We should go.” Kyungsoo says, looking around the room at the duffle bag and suitcase. Their things were still thrown all over the place, taking him back to the times when they used to share an apartment. Back then, Chanyeol would lock himself in their room and write, usually only on his free days, when he wasn’t working at some random shop.

Chanyeol stands up and walks closer to Kyungsoo, towering over him with his height. Kyungsoo is still holding his former clothes in his hands, still unsure if he should throw them in a bin or keep them as some sort of memory.

“I really missed you…you know that, right?” Chanyeol asks, coming even closer and Kyungsoo takes one step back.

He has never been great when it came to sentimental bullshit, as he likes to call it. Chanyeol was the first one to hug him, Chanyeol was the first to kiss him one afternoon, on Kyungsoo’s 19th birthday, right after he had an argument with his father. Chanyeol was the first one to say “I love you”.

When it came to sentimental bullshit, Kyungsoo can only crawl back to his shell, to silently wait for everything to be over.

And Kyungsoo keeps quiet, staring at the imprint on the other’s t-shirt.

“Soo…” Chanyeol says, wrapping an arm around his body. “I know you are still angry…but I needed that. I needed to get away from home.” he continues, inhaling deeply.

“I’m not angry.” Kyungsoo says, but the tone of his voice reflects otherwise.

“I know you are a shitty liar…” Chanyeol laughs, and it reverberates through Kyungsoo’s body. “I don’t want you to hide and pretend that we are alright.”

But in fact, to some extent, this is exactly what Kyungsoo wishes, to pretend that nothing has happened and that they are the same people they were years ago. At least, he almost feels like before.

Kyungsoo looks up, at his face and thinks that Chanyeol looks almost the same: still youthful, with those big and funny ears of his, for which he had to endure so many mean words. He thinks it is amusing that exactly those ears brought them together, as Chanyeol was the newest kid in class in the 5th grade, and Kyungsoo was still too quiet.

But then, one day, when someone was saying something about how Chanyeol looked like an elephant-Kyungsoo already despising the kid-he punched him with all his force in the guts.

And after that, Chanyeol stuck to him and nobody said anything about those ears.

“Aren’t we alright?” Kyungsoo asks, lightly smiling.

“I don’t know…” Chanyeol sighs and finally steps back. This Chanyeol is more reserved, he thinks.

Kyungsoo coughs and starts picking up everything scattered around the room, even though his suit is still in his hand. He stares at it for a moment and finally throws it in the recycle bin. It barely fits, so he digs his foot in it and presses hard until the lid closes.

“You’ve already killed it.” Chanyeol laughs, patting his back.

He throws the rest of the clothes in the suitcase, with no regard to order, and he closes it shut.

“I guess that’s everything.” Chanyeol says, taking it in one hand and the duffle bag in the other.

Kyungsoo doesn’t argue that he should be carrying something, knowing that Chanyeol would say everything is light anyways.

They put everything in the trunk and Kyungsoo notices, rather displeased, that he is indeed hungry. It is barely 20 past 9, but he already needs his cigarette and cup of coffee.

“There’s a shop over there.” Chanyeol points out with his finger. “We could walk.”

Kyungsoo is thankful, having the steaming coffee in one hand and the cigarette in the other that he didn’t have to start just yet the monstrosity of a car. But he has to step inside it and his fingers feel once again sweaty around the key. He drops it on the floor and picks it up with shaky fingers.

“We could stop in Slave Lake.” Chanyeol says as Kyungsoo pushes the gas pedal and releases the clutch slowly. The cars starts.

Kyungsoo grins, putting the car back onto the road. At least it is free.

“We should stop to put some gas.” Chanyeol says, turning the radio on once again.

Kyungsoo glances at him, immediately imagining the car hitting a gas pump in its way, starting just another fire that would cost them more money that they even have.

“Your driving is fine.” Chanyeol says, squeezing his arm.

“And you know quite well that it isn’t.” Kyungsoo says, suddenly feeling the need for another smoke. “Can you light one for me?”

“Sure.” he says, taking the pack and the lighter from the front pocket. There are only 2 cigarettes left in it. Kyungsoo sees and curses underneath his breath; if it wasn’t for the cigarettes, he wouldn’t stop at the gas station.

Ray’s Gas Bar appears on their left and Kyungsoo pushes the break with a little too much force, and the car stops immediately.

“You know you have to-”

“I know.” Kyungsoo sighs and presses the clutch, moves the shifter into the first gear and presses the gas pedal. The car starts and Kyungsoo, extremely slowly maneuvers it to a pump.

“You do realize it’s the wrong one, right?” Chanyeol laughs.

“And why is it the wrong one?”

“The thing where you put gasoline it’s on the right. This pump is-”                                                                                                        

“Fuck it!” Kyungsoo shouts, hitting the wheel. It honks. “Whose brilliant idea was to buy a manual?”

“You could have said something before signing-”

“I didn’t know. I’m not good with cars.”

“It has a fucking shifter!” Kyungsoo says right when a man walks straight to their car with an indulgent smile on his face. “Great!”

“Calm down…” Chanyeol says, squeezing his arm once again

“And if you fucking squeeze my arm…” he shakes his head and rolls down the window. He really needs another cigarette. Or no. He really needs to quit. Right before Chanyeol left, he was determined to stop with it, but then the anger and nerves got the best of him and he really needed his daily pack. He hasn’t thought about quitting since.

“Good day! Very warm outside, isn’t it?” the man asks, with a smile. Kyungsoo isn’t in the mood for a chit chat about weather or in the mood to be pleasant. “Just wait a couple more hours and it will reach 35 degrees.” he continues, leaning on the open space left by the window.

“Very hot since it’s only May.” Chanyeol smiles and gets out of the car. “We’d like to put some gas.” he smiles, heading over to where the man is. “And I bet we are not at the right pomp, are we?”

“I think the hose is long enough.” the other laughs, putting the hands on his large belly. “Here…I’ll take care of it.” he says, taking a pump with his stumpy hands.

Kyungsoo takes the key out of the contact and rushes towards the small supermarket in front of him. He hates the smell of gasoline.

Quickly, he picks a pack of Lucky Strike and one of gums and heads to the cash register.

The woman gives him a small smile and Kyungsoo her the money.

When he gets back outside, Chanyeol is chatting with the other and Kyungsoo almost envies how easily he can be so likeable and talkative. He was never like this before he left; when they were together. It almost makes him feel sour and jealous, that being apart actually helped Chanyeol in so many ways. Kyungsoo only liked to live in the past and pretend nothing was changed.

“What’s up with your friend? Isn’t he talkative or does he have other problems?” the man asks, laughing, even though Kyungsoo is only a couple of meters away from him.

Chanyeol grabs him by the shoulder, dragging him closer to him.

“He’s just tired. Driven all night.” he says with a smile.

“I see. Well, have a nice one!” the other says, shaking Chanyeol’s hand.

Kyungsoo lights a cigarette and breaths in the smoke, trying to calm himself. His breathing and fingers are shaky for some reason.

“We could stay for a bit if you want.” Chanyeol says.

“I don’t like this place.” Kyungsoo says, entering the car. He shuts the door close behind him and the man gives them another glance before he enters the supermarket.

Kyungsoo finishes the cigarette in the car and throws the stub on the ground.

“I don’t think that’s legal. Or smoking near the gasoline.” Chanyeol says, but Kyungsoo only shrugs it off.

He puts the key into contact and the engine eventually stops. He repeats the action once again and again, until he’s too angry and ashamed, knowing the man is probably watching them from behind the windows.

“Let’s take a break.”

“We won’t get to Slave Lake by nightfall like this.” Kyungsoo says, putting the key into contact once again. He breathes in and stares at his trembling hands before he finally presses the clutch, releases it slowly and presses the gas pedal. The car starts.

“Yes!” he says with a smile.

Suddenly, he feels something soft and warm at the corner of his mouth and when he looks to the side, Chanyeol’s face is right next to his.

They lay in silence and Kyungsoo smiles, pressing his lips onto Chanyeol’s. It’s quick and nothing in particular, since the other pulls back too quickly to become anything else.

The car has already stopped, since Kyungsoo lifted the foot from the clutch.

He starts it once again, this time with more success and finally exits the gas station. It leaves him wondering if the man has seen any of this through the windows.

He drives in silence, looking from time to time at Chanyeol who seems well absorbed by the changing scenery. Surely, he isn’t certain what he is supposed to say, as Chanyeol doesn’t appear to be affected by any of it. Have they returned to their previous state of the relationship? With Chanyeol, nothing is ever certain for Kyungsoo.

“We could take a break when we reach Driftpile.” Chanyeol says, turning on the radio. There’s another song that Kyungsoo vaguely remembers.

“We could.” Kyungsoo hums, keeping his fingers tight around the steering wheel.

When he first drove when he received his license, after the second try, he did it with Chanyeol. He assumed it would be more comforting and relaxed, doing it with his best friend. Luckily, it was an automatic one and the engine didn’t stop, but he had the same feeling inside that he couldn’t wait to set foot on the ground.

Except for the radio, it is silence in the car and Kyungsoo only focuses on the road and on his thoughts. Chanyeol hums from time to time, umping the volume of the radio at certain points and then decreasing it until they can barely hear anything. Kyungsoo supposes those are the songs he hates and he smiles, thinking that back then he actually knew what Chanyeol liked and didn’t.

After a while, when the sign says they only have 3 kilometers until Driftpile, Kyungsoo pushes the breaks and the car stops on the side of the road.

Chanyeol stares at him with what seems surprise and Kyungsoo gets out of the car with a sigh.

He takes a cigarette out of the pack and lights it. His fingers are still slightly trembling around it and he thinks that he should really give it up. With a groan, he throws himself on the grass and realizes it’s still a little bit damp. He doesn’t even notice when Chanyeol sits right next to him, hugging his knees with both hands.

“You’ll wet your ass.” Kyungsoo says, blowing some smoke in the other direction.

Chanyeol only leans his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, looking at the small red flame in the tip of the cigarette.

“Can I try it?” he asks.

“I should be the only one to die prematurely.” Kyungsoo laughs, taking another smoke.

“Then we should both die prematurely.”

“You are an idiot.” Kyungsoo laughs, throwing the stump right in front of him. He leans forward, until his nose bumps into Chanyeol’s and the latter tilts to the side, until Kyungsoo can press the lips to his.

Chanyeol coughs and ends it short, but Kyungsoo still smiles.

“We’ve promised that if one of us dies, then the other will have to die too.” Chanyeol says and kisses Kyungsoo once again. Short and chaste. He doesn’t know what they mean, but surely, he doesn’t want to know.

“That was stupid. And we were 11.” Kyungsoo smiles, and leans forward, leaving another peck.

It almost feels like a childish game.

“And we drank each other’s blood.” Chanyeol says, kissing the tip of his nose this time. “You know…forever.” he whispers.

Kyungsoo laughs once again and kisses Chanyeol’s cheek. He remembers now, this used to be a game of theirs, when they were both 19 and Kyungsoo was still scared of everything, afraid to admit anything.

Chanyeol falls on his back, dragging Kyungsoo down with him. The sun is too bright and indeed, it is too hot outside. Kyungsoo has to look somewhere else and he chooses Chanyeol.

“I thought about you a lot when I was away.” Chanyeol says, brushing his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair. They trail down his face, stroking his thumb over his chin. “You know what’s funny?” he laughs, looking down.

Kyungsoo shakes his head, kissing Chanyeol’s palm.

“I still remember you that day…dressed as a chicken for that stupid job you had for a week.” Chanyeol smiles, pinching his cheek.

“Why?” Kyungsoo laughs, the memory vague in his head.

“When you came home you were so sweaty and smelling so badly.” he laughs. “And you came and hugged me, still dressed in that freaking chicken costume and…” he trails off and kisses Kyungsoo on the forehead and then on his eyelids.

“Why is it funny?” Kyungsoo asks.

“It felt…like a family.” Chanyeol says and Kyungsoo’s gaze drops, gulping down without any ease.

Chanyeol leaves another kiss, this time on his lips, and Kyungsoo knows it is not fair, as the little game has ended.

He stands up, bracing himself, suddenly feeling like the air is chillier and he is shivering once again.

“Kyungsoo…” Chanyeol says, coming closer to him.

“It’s getting late.” Kyungsoo says, walking towards the car.

“You’re doing it again.”

“I’m not doing anything.” Kyungsoo says but Chanyeol grabs him by the middle and waves him in the air, as Kyungsoo is hysterically laughing and grabbing Chanyeol’s arms with all his strength.

“Yeol!” he yells as the other puts him down and Kyungsoo falls forward.

“I meant it.” Chanyeol says, kissing the top of his head.

“I know.” Kyungsoo sighs, still thinking that Chanyeol takes things too easily, doesn’t think anything through.

He gets inside the car and sighs before Chanyeol enters too. For some reason, he doesn’t want to let the other see him being hurt by something just as stupid as this. By one thing he has never had control over.

“It might rain.” Chanyeol says, closing the door and scrunching his nose at the sky.

Kyungsoo puts the key into contact and wishes that the engine wouldn’t stop this time. It doesn’t and he smiles in relief, not daring to look at Chanyeol.

“You want some biscuits?” he asks, taking a bag from the back.

“Shouldn’t we eat some real food too?” Kyungsoo says, but takes the biscuit that the other handed him.

“In Slave Lake.” Chanyeol says, feeding him another one.

He throws one into his mouth and grins, glancing at Kyungsoo chewing with the same smile on his face. Without thinking much about it, Kyungsoo touches Chanyeol’s thigh and the car goes a little to the left. Retracting his hand, Chanyeol leans in, to leave a small kiss on his temple.

“I should have brought the guitar.” Chanyeol sighs, turning on the radio. The song now playing gives Kyungsoo a bad feeling in his gut.

He remembers exactly, for some reason, how Chanyeol kept begging his father for 2 years straight, from 12 to 14, to get him for Christmas even the cheapest guitar he could find. The old man, because this is how Kyungsoo has ever seen him, even though he was barely 40 at the time, but with too much white hair, finally gave up and brought him a guitar that he said, got it from a friend. It seemed too new to Kyungsoo to have been used before, but Chanyeol didn’t particularly care. All he knew was that he had to learn how to play at it in the shortest time. And not to impress girls, since he was already seeing one, 1 year younger than him, but because his fingers have always ached to touch the strings. Kyungsoo actually went to all the shops in search for that particular one, and when he finally found it, he didn’t know why, but he felt bad.

A couple of years later, they both found out, exactly when Chanyeol’s father hung himself in their closet with a belt and a tie, that even back then, he was almost dirt poor, with a small business thrown into bankruptcy.

For some reason, Chanyeol kept using the guitar and even took it with him when he left, but Kyungsoo never told him how much it actually cost. It still made him feel undeniably bad and aching with an unknown feeling at the thought. Was it pity?

“Someone told me, when I was away that it cost a fortune.” Chanyeol laughs, tapping his fingers on the door. “It couldn’t have been. He was poor even back then.” he says, increasing the volume of the radio.

“Maybe.” Kyungsoo shrugs, but his fingers tighten around the wheel.

The radio doesn’t allow him to say anything else, but he isn’t eager to that in fact. He wonders if this is what Chanyeol wanted.

When he was younger, he has always felt superior to Chanyeol, in the way that his house was bigger and he knew for a fact that his father owned a couple of big companies. But quickly, that pride was fading from his mind as his parents were pushing him away from Chanyeol, talking about him only in disgust. So Kyungsoo kept spending more and more time with him, in the beginning just to spite them, but afterwards, it only became natural, needed, the other’s presence.

He wasn’t sure why Chanyeol chose him of all people, and he never got the courage to ask. It only remained as a silent question in his mind.

“I really want some pizza.” Chanyeol says over the loud buzz of the radio.

Kyungsoo smiles, giving Chanyeol a quick glance.

“I know that face.” Chanyeol laughs, waving his finger in the air.

“Yes, is my face that remembers yours when you eat too much.”

“You didn’t…”

“It’s all your fault.” Kyungsoo laughs and Chanyeol ruffles his hair.

“I really think blue suits you. And you are extremely patriotic.” Chanyeol says, leaning in and pinching Kyungsoo’s belly.

He flinches, the car moving to the left with him and a car honks at them, as theirs barely misses it by a couple of centimeters.

“Fuck!” Kyungsoo says, tightening his grip on the wheel.

“That was close.”

“Never do that ever again!” Kyungsoo throws Chanyeol an angry look, before he sticks his gaze to the road. He drives even slower than before.

The rest of the way to Slave Lake is made in silence excepting the buzz of the radio that Chanyeol insists on keeping turned on. It almost manages to give Kyungsoo a headache, but he doesn’t say anything to the other. He only lights another cigarette, but it somehow only manages to worsen his condition.

Kyungsoo stops the car, right in the middle of the road, as nothing has passed by them for a while now and he feels his bladder and head like exploding.

“Wha-” Chanyeol says, but Kyungsoo shuts the door close behind him, walks behind the car and unzips his pants.

“Don’t fucking come! I’m pissing.” Kyungsoo yells, realizing that the underwear he is wearing is a couple of sizes too big. It’s already hanging off his ass, right on his thighs.

“Really?” Chanyeol laughs.

“Really.” he says, closing the door and putting the key into contact once again.

He doesn’t even realize he started the car from the first try.

“Your hands are gross.”

“You are gross. I’ll wash when we eat.” Kyungsoo says.

“Do you even know where we have to stop?”

“That’s why I’ve got you as my portable GPS.” Kyungsoo laughs and Chanyeol slaps his arm. “Watch it.”

“There’s a McDonald’s right on the left.” Chanyeol says and Kyungsoo feels uneasy once again, thinking he actually has to park a car. Something he hasn’t done in years.

“Where the fuck is the entrance?” Kyungsoo asks, seeing the McDonalds grey building right on his left.

“Right there.” Chanyeol points out at a smaller road that comes out of the main one.

“Where?” Kyungsoo asks, and somehow pushes the gas pedal so the car sprints forward, going past the bifurcation point.

“You’ve missed it.”

“How the fuck did I miss it?” Kyungsoo asks, tempted to look back, but he doesn’t. “Where the heck do I turn back?”

“If you want, through the forest.” Chanyeol laughs.

“That’s not funny.” Kyungsoo says, glancing at the other.

“We’ll eat near the Inn. There’s a steakhouse over there.” Chanyeol says, squeezing his arm.

“But we said we are going to eat at McDonald’s.” Kyungsoo says, still looking around the road, as he spots no way to turn around.

“It’s fine. I don’t really care where we eat.” Chanyeol smiles and Kyungsoo only grumbles something underneath his breath, pushing the gas pedal. “Slow down, though. You’ll miss this one too.” he laughs and Kyungsoo suddenly shifts it into the 3rd gear.

“I didn’t mean that slow.” Chanyeol says, looking at Kyungsoo, but the latter only keeps his eyes straight onto the road.

“Here, turn right.” Chanyeol says and Kyungsoo does as he is being told.

They eventually stop right in front of the Lake View Inn, with a too sudden break and Kyungsoo shutting the door close behind him. He takes a cigarette out of the packet and lights it with trembling fingers.

“Fuck it!” he says, thinking that as of late, he kept being on this anxious and angry, seemingly incapable of controlling his temper. Somehow, these thoughts are making him even more furious.

“Hey…you’ve only missed a turn.” Chanyeol says, putting an arm around him.

“It’s not that…”

Chanyeol sighs, letting his head fall on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. The position is uncomfortable for Chanyeol, since Kyungsoo is shorter; he has to crouch in order to sit like this, with his knees bent and a hand wrapped around the other.

“Let’s get ourselves checked in and then we could go eat.” Chanyeol says, standing up, to a more natural position.

Kyungsoo doesn’t feel hungry and the thought of greasy sandwiches and probable dirty tables, with a waitress too bored to do her job does not entice him as he sighs and locks the car. The sun is happily shining all over it, making the bright orange look as it set on fire. Fairly, this is what he thought about Chanyeol’s hair, when he saw it for the first time in that picture. So, he considers it was natural for him to choose this car. Now, Chanyeol’s brown locks don’t make him appear like a wild and lost human, boring into the camera and somewhere into Kyungsoo’s heart.

But, this Chanyeol doesn’t seem the same. And Kyungsoo thinks he’s too old for any of this and that all the love he has ever felt is long gone. He isn’t even sure what it is now that keeps them in place. It has never been love in the first place.

He opens the door to the Inn and it almost looks the same as the last one they’ve slept in. Chanyeol is already talking to the woman at the front desk, a big smile on his face and a red pout on the woman’s.

“Thanks for the recommendation.” he says and waves her goodbye, walking towards Kyungsoo.

He wraps an arm around his shoulder and drags him out of the place, still grinning like a fool.

“Let’s go eat.” he says.

The Steakhouse is a dozen of meters away from the Inn, and when they walk in there are already a couple of truck drivers eating at the tables. It smells like burnt oil and smoke, and immediately, Chanyeol starts coughing.

“She said-"he coughs one more time, feeling his eyes water-” we should order the Cajun Chicken Club something sandwich.“ he says, coughing once more.

"I’ll do that. You should wait outside.” Kyungsoo says, patting his back.

“I’m fine.” Chanyeol smiles, but coughs, harder than before and eventually leaves the place.

Kyungsoo doesn’t feel better, in the strange mixture of scents but order anyways the 2 sandwiches and a couple of cheap beers and waits, glancing from time to time at the men inside.

“Here. Your order.” the one behind the counter says, putting a brown paper bag in front of him.

“Thanks.” he weakly smiles and finally opens the door and steps into the clean air.

“I thought you fainted in there or something.” Chanyeol laughs, taking the beers from Kyungsoo.

“Isn’t this the same one we bought that day?” Chanyeol asks, already opening his. He takes a sip with a serious mine on his face. “It tasted better back then, didn’t it?”

“Maybe.” Kyungsoo says, taking a sandwich from the paper bag and sits on the car’s trunk.

The sun is falling down between the lightning poles, crimson and yellow, as the clouds are pink and deep purple. A thin, white line crosses the sky, hanging like a thin thread punctured onto it.

Chanyeol sits right next to him, laying down and staring up as the beer is still in his hand.

“My mother told me that your father gave you the company?” he asks, looking up at Kyungsoo.

“A couple of months ago.” he takes a bite from the sandwich, without even meaning to.

“So you are well off. And you thought he wouldn’t.” Chanyeol smiles, taking a gulp from the beer.

He shrugs off, dangling his feet in the air, glancing one more time back at Chanyeol and wondering for the first time what the hell he is doing with him so far away from home. It hits him, the undescriptive and nostalgic feeling in his chest, hurt and strangeness, and so, he leans down and presses his lips harshly onto Chanyeol’s.

They taste like beer, but it doesn’t make him pull back, but only close the gap between their bodies. Not even like this, the longing he feels in his chest does not grow smaller, it remains the same.

“I can’t do this.” he says, ending the kiss and pulling further away from him.

The sky is almost black and Kyungsoo looks around, feeling lost and scared.

“Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I still love you. Just as much.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head and the ground trembles with it.

 

_They both lay in silence, as Kyungsoo’s heart is rapidly ticking the seconds away._

_“If we don’t leave now, you might never escape this place.” the man says, lingering for just a couple more seconds before he walks away, leaving Kyungsoo all alone, with too many strange people and faces surrounding him._

_Looking back at the disappearing shape, a woman comes up to him._

_“Kyungsoo…they are waiting for you to do the speech.”_

_But he cannot hear her, he feels trapped in glass, floating in the middle of a room with no chance of escape. With each passing second, everything blurs faster and faster._

_The woman presses her thin lips together, rubbing his arm with her bony fingers, as people are gathering around a small stage in the back of the room. Finally, after just another thunder, the rain starts hitting the windows and Kyungsoo makes a small step back and just another, before he runs outside, into the pouring rain, but there is no one and nothing outside, only the thunder into the distance._

_“Chanyeol…”_

_There’s no answer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, so just to shed a little bit of light on this, if you didn't exactly understand what the heck has happened.  
> So, the italic parts, in the beginning and end, show Kyungsoo at his parents' funeral. He feels alone and not wanting to be there. He has the impression he sees Chanyeol (his former friend and lover) and so, he runs outside, but there's no Chanyeol. The entire road trip is just in Kyungsoo's imagination, a "what if"; in the end he realizes even in the "dream" that he couldn't have run away with him.  
> Chanyeol-this is me somehow continuing the story a bit here-was indeed gone to follow his dreams, and he never came back to Kyungsoo. It's up to you to imagine he was fine or not so fine, but Kyungsoo kept hoping that he would in the end come back and start everything over. 
> 
> =Thank you for reading!=

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, feedback and kudos are loved <3  
> btw, I will post the next chapter tomorrow


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